Fish out of water
I saw a billboard that had a quote from a young boy who had a physical problem. The quote said, "I feel like a fish out of water." Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt like you are just different than other people you are around? Like maybe your from another planet? I have been in meetings the last two days that make me feel that way. Nobody was ugly to me. No one pointed fingers, its just their ideas and vision were not in line with my vision. Maybe there is something wrong with me. I just feel like my vision for stuff is so much bigger. I don't like guilt trips and that occurs too often. Moving from a larger, faster pace city, there are things I have seen that others have not. I attend conferences like Catalyst that get my engines going and then someone here pulls the drain plug and my engine locks up. I'm not saying I can't learn things from traditional church backgrounds. But I don't want to do things that have been done for centuries (ok, decades) just because. I just keep my mouth shut and try not to cause trouble. For me, that is hard. I am an opinionated person as most people know. I believe our new pastor is a great fit for this church! He is a Godly man and he has integrity. He supports our ministry eventhough his ideas may be different than mine. I support him fully and will never cause him trouble. Others I don't know about. I just feel like a fish out of water. Today I'm going to radically change the way I look on the outside. I don't know what people are going to think. I guess I'm doing it because I feel different on the inside. I feel like I'm ready to burst! I have so many ideas ready to flow, yet I feel like someone has turned off the facuet. I feel like it has been super-glued shut. I have tried to get the youth center opened for 6 months now on Monday nights. I can't get what I need to allow us to do so. My ideas for evangelism are different than others. I may be wrong, but they work in more progressive churches. I feel like a fish out of water. I can't be a fake! I am who I am. I don't know where I fit in. I'm frustrated. I'm tired. I'm burned out. The one thing I know is that God has stripped me of a lot. I am no longer committed to Him, I am Submitted to Him. I feel like a fish out of water! I'm grateful to those who have a similar vision or have aligned their vision with mine. John, Greg, Angela, Neil, Whitney, Dana and Steve, Spots, Mike, Jason and Tammy and many of our youth. I will keep trying to push a vision of reaching out to those who don't fit in. I will keep pushing for those who feel like God has let them down. I won't stay down. I never do. I see glimmers of hope! I champion the cause of those who feel like fish out of water.
posted by Kevin Bussey at 10/19/2005 11:30:00 AM